The Hidden Costs of Christmas

when I as growing up I can remember every Christmas as being a happy one full of joy and harmony. I can remember my Christmas wishes coming true under the tree on Christmas morning. I can remember eating a good meal and there was always lots of food and friends around the table.
With all of that happening, I never thought about the hidden costs of making that day happen. I think about my father, who at the time worked for the Post Office and worked 12 hour days to have the money to make the Christmas wishes of his four children come true.
I remember my mother, who at the time was a stay at home mom would work a job during the season just to make our Christmas dreams come true.
Credit cards were not widely used and most of what we received came through layaway . If you wanted something, you had better make sure that your parents knew about it before the end of September so that it could be put on layaway. When I think about this today it amazes me because we had 4 kids in our family and every kid got what they wanted for Christmas but at what cost.
My father worked 4 extra hours a day, hours that he could have used to rest and relax. The money from this extra work should have been used for investments to create a better retirement for himself and my mother or better schools for us kids. I would have to say that myself and my three sisters are all college graduates not from Harvard mind you but college graduates just the same . Maybe that money could have been used for first class instead of coach . If my father had worked less and relaxed more he might not have had a stroke and ended up spending his Autumn years in a nursing home.
Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful life and it is because of the sacrifices that my parents made for me. There Autumn years are good but they could be better. My life is good but it could be better.
This Christmas season, I am going to teach myself a lesson. Instead of buying the world for my daughter , I am going to invest some of the gift money and give some of it to those who have not been as fortunate as me. I remember my mother and father would put together Christmas baskets for their tenants and families to make Christmas brighter for them.
During this season, we should remember to get only what we need and we already have most that if we have love, family and friends. Take some of the money that you were going to spend on gifts and give it to the poor so that they can eat this season. Those of us who have should give to those who do not and learn a lesson from our parents who sacrificed everything to give us something.

What Humor is. What Humor is not

A series of circumstances have put me in the company of many stand-up comedians. Many are aspiring and do open mics some are headliners and are paid for their performances. All in all I have been very impressed by them all and wish them well. They have helped me through a difficult time in my life and have given me the opportunity to go back into comedy writing and performing an interest that I abruptly abandoned because of a bout with thyroid cancer. These comics all of them have given me the encouragement to start again in comedy and I will be forever grateful to them and their unconditional welcoming of me into their community. My mother was right as one door closes, the another one opens.
All of that aside, there is a split among comics as to what is funny and what is not. I am as much part of this discussion as anyone else so I will share my thoughts with you tonight. What comedy is: Comedy simply put is designed to make you laugh and the comedian will do what it takes to make that happen . From using the right combination of words to open up the flood gates of laughter to shock humor to shock your sensibilities to physical humor that gets us out of our seats.
I do not know any comics who is in disagreement with this. Where we disagree however is the delivery and the target. There are comics who think that comedy at someone else' expense is appropriate . There are other who believe that comedy should make everyone laugh and not pick on a particular segment of the population ( women, minorities etc.) just for a cheap laugh.
I recently attending a few shows where I saw both kinds of performers . One comic pick out two women in the audience and spent most of his set picking on them. The first couple of jokes were okay and people laughed but after a while both the ladies who were targets and the audience were sick of it . I was sick of it mostly because there was no point to it . Throughout the entire set he told two legitimate jokes the rest were attacks. In my opinion and the opinions of many comics that is not humor. Comics who tell jokes that put down minorities and are disrespectful to women make many in the audience leave with an uneasy feeling in the stomach.
What humor is: Call me old fashioned but I still believe in spreading the love and that comedy can be the ultimate love fest . A comedian can tell jokes about women and minorities that may offend but do not attack. Jokes that point out our differences and how they lead to the complex relationships we have as people. Instead of attacking women about their weight sexual activity or behaviors a comedian can talk about the complex relationships between men and women and how humorous they can be . To come on stage and call a women a "fat bitch" may get a few laughs from the misogynists in the audience but it will lose the women in the audience forever . To slam your minority audience may get you in the same predicament as Michael Richards (Kramer) who attacked two black hecklers and called them "niggers" . Not only did he get into hot water over the incident but received very few bookings afterwards. Attack humor is not only uncool at the moment it can alienate a segment of the population that you may never get back.
Comedy is not a club. One that you use to hit the audience over the head with or a white male club with few members. It is an open community open to many ideas and slowly but surely closing to hacks who think cheap shots are the key to quick laughs.

Birthday Revisited

I celebrated my birthday yesterday and it was as always awesome.
It was not awesome for many reasons but mostly for the gifts that I received and they were many. These gifts were not like the material gifts that we all get on our birthday they were spiritual, eternal and lifelong.
My first gift was that of renewed friendship, reuniting with a long lost friend that I thought I had lost forever . Now that we are in each others' lives it is priceless . This friendship is renewed and growing. Where it will go I do not know but I am happy to be back and connected again. Sometimes I lose track of my friends and never re-unite in this case, I am glad this did not happen because our friendship means the world to me.
My second gift is the gift of good health. A few months ago, my health was shot to hell. My weight was over 370 pounds, my blood pressure was through the roof along with my blood sugar and I would surely die. This birthday I have lost over 100 pounds and counting, my blood sugar is down to normal along with my blood pressure . I look better and can now wear cool clothes and look cool in them. My life is turning around and I am going to keep heading in the healthy direction. My doctor wanted me to get a gastric by-pass operation. I instead decided to by-pass the large amounts of sugar and carbs I was consuming . I now exercise 90 minutes per day and watch everything that I eat. This gift is priceless and I gave it to myself.
My third gift is a change in career and career location. I have decided to purse a writing, film making and IT career over traditional classroom teaching. I will always be a teacher because I will always love teaching and learning but I want to do it my way and not at the whim of others. I hope this decision will take me down the right road and help me in pursuit of happiness and stability. I have a talent that should be shared with the world I now have the opportunity to do just this.
Gift 3 my daughter who has had a number of problems in the past is now struggling toward becoming the person that she wants to be . I will stick by her to help her achieve this . Of all things that I have done in my life adopting her was the best thing in my life.My new career will help me in this.
Gift 4 all of the good friends and family that I have who truly support me and encourage me to achieve my goals. They are teacher friends, comedy friends, relatives and lifelong friends who believe in me . I would never have the opportunities that I do if it were not for them. I love them with all my heart and my love for them will never die only flourish .
There is one last gift that I would like to give myself, the gift of love . Not the kind for friends and family but the emotional, physical and spiritual love that only one man can have for one woman. I have seen this love many times and would like this gift myself. It is not something that happens overnight and hopefully it will not take forever but I will wait as long as it takes.
This has been a happy birthday and I hope my next birthday will be even happier . I would call myself a hopeless romantic but that would not be true. I am a hopeful romantic who knows what he wants and will get it with time and patience .

Goodwill Hunting

Over the last three months I have gone to the depths that I have on few occasions gone. Nothing that is morally against my values but unusual in my patterns. As most of my friends know, I like to shop to find value where there is none and to live for the sale and the discount. In other words, the outlet and the internet are my friends and Sam's Club and Costco are distant relatives.
Over the last three months, I have found a step child. The Goodwill . It is not that I felt this thrift store of all thrift stores is beneath me but I have never had the occasion to venture into this establishment .
Recent event ( separation, divorce prep and tremendous weight loss) have reduced my disposable income and I have resorted to shopping at the Goodwill . It has become my lifesaver. First it was just to get a few things for my new apartment that I could not afford to get at Wal-Mart things like pillow cases, sheets, floor lamps end tables etc.
I also bought some needed kitchen items (crock pots, pans and a rice steamer ) . Before I knew it my entire apartment was outfitted with all the comforts of home and the ability to prepare any meal necessary.
After outfitting my apartment I realized that my increased workouts and weight loss left me with few clothes that did not fit properly. I tried going to Wal-Mart for a few things and realized that in my state, Wal-Mart prices were too much in my state. A pair of trousers are between $10 and $20 that could be used fro cable, electric and rent . I discovered that trousers of all kinds and quality could be had at the Goodwill for a mere $4.99-$5.99 and shirts for around the same. I have more than enough shoes so they were not an issue. I also have plenty of suits and dress shirts but everyday wear was the problem.
Things like jeans, cargo pants and polo shirts. Since I have lost weight, I now have a Goodwill body Size 40 to 42 waist, XL-XXL instead of waist 50 and 3XL . So now instead of going to the factitious Phat Boyz the consignment short for the portly man I can go to Goodwill the consignment shop for the average sized man.
I have also found that what you find on your Goodwill hunting depends on where the hunting ground is. I have found the best place for designer clothes are the Goodwill's that are located in tony suburbs like Edina and Woodbury . Furniture is sometimes better as well.
I have found however, the holy grail of Goodwills is the one on University avenue and Fairview in Saint Paul , Minnesota .
In this time of economic uncertainty it is great to have this economic oasis known as the Goodwill.

Bernie Madoff in Color

Today I saw a movie titled " Tower Heist " staring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. Great acting by all of the parties involved including veterans Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick and newcomer Gabourey Sidibe of Precious fame.
The plot of the movie involves the employees of an exclusive New York high rise who become alarmed when one of the residents played by Alan Alda is arrested by the FBI and charged with running a Madoff like Ponzi Scheme and swindling the employees out of their pensions.
Stiller, the building's manager, decides to get even with Alda after the doorman near retirement tries to kill himself after he is wiped out in the swindle .
Stiller enlists the aid of a boyhood acquaintance and professional thief played to the hilt by Eddie Murphy . Stiller, Murphy and a team of disgruntled ex-employees and an ex-tenet played by Matthew Broderick plan to rob Alda's apartment safe to steal a rumored $40 million.
To make a long story short. The movie has a happy ending but that is not the point of this blog . You might ask what is the point of this blog.
The point of this blog is to look at the movie and recent events in the news particularly Bernie Madoff's family in all of the major news markets from 60 minutes last Sunday, the Today Show on Monday and everything else for the rest of the week including this movie.
The difference however, if that the movie had another take on the Madoff story. Throughout his trial and subsequent conviction, many of us almost felt sorry for the guy and his family.
Tower Heist show us the real Madoff albeit Alan Alda and the Madoff family for that matter. From the 60 minutes interview to other opportunities during the week Ruth Madoff made herself seem like a Mafia wife who sits at home while her Tony Soprano like husband reeks havoc on the world and she sits back and wonders where all of the goodies came from. Bernie must be a great provider and she claims she had no clue of where it all came from.
At this point I usually use a word that starts with a b and ends with a t but since all of you probably know the word, I will leave it out. His son Andrew was even worse, acting as if Madoff's thievery was all new to him. It even sounds worse coming Steven because he worked on Wall Street with his father up until the scandal broke. So unlike Ruth Madoff, he has no excuses he knew the business and chose to turn a blind eye to it all.
Tower Heist was like a breath of fresh air in a otherwise sea of BS that painted the Madoffs as victims themselves. Tower Heist shows a fictitious Bernie Madoff as a Greedy, Selfish, Spoiled Douche Bag with a warped sense of justice kinda like the real Bernie Madoff and his Greedy, Selfish, Spoiled Douche Bag family.