Why I am for Obama

My father used to always say if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. I have always followed that rule and have sometimes suffered for it . But I will continue to follow it because it was my father's advice and he not only said it, he lived by it too. I was born and raised a Democrat, not just any old Democrat but a Social Democrat who was taught to believe in equality and justice for all . I was taught to trust our government and that the purpose of this government was to serve not just those who have power but those who do not. Not just Americans but the rest of the world as well. My parents are people who believe in hard work and respect for the society we live in and its people. I was taught that I was not inferior or superior to anyone and that all people were capable of some greatness. I was raised a Social Democrat and I am still one with no regrets . My father believed in this country and though he was not a religious man, I think America was his religion and he practiced it fully and widely. My parents were born during the depression and grew up during the Second World War and they saw America at its best and worst yet they never gave up hope in the potential of this nation even at the depths of the civil rights movement when they struggled with others for the right to vote. My mother never gave up hope even when er older sister was beaten up by the police in Jackson Mississippi for refusing to pay off police who came into her place of business. Through out my life my parents taught me to respect the law and the leaders of this great nation right or wrong and look for the bright side in all of them . The one thing that I learned from this is that with our leaders are like what Forrest Gump said  a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. But like chocolates they were all sweet in their own way and stayed the course to our America, the America of today. Where everything is not perfect but we have a great deal more than many other nations. We have free public education, employment and leadership opportunities that are not based on birth but perseverance and determination. Our opportunities are made not born. It is not to say that we don't have people who were born on third base and think they hit a home run, but we have opportunities based on what we learn and earn . Our presidents are that box of chocolates aristocrats that were born into power and influence and those who had to earn it every step of the way. Barack Obama is part of that mixed bag he was born to a woman abandoned by her husband when Barack was just a baby and went on and raised him with the help of her family. She along with her mother and father gave him the best they could afford to give him they were not millionaires far from it but they understood as my parents did that education and hard work will bring results. President Obama understands that this is the foundation of America and that government is responsible for helping Americans realize their dreams. One of Franklin Roosevelt's four freedoms was freedom from want. It is hard to realize your dream if you are hungry, undereducated and without decent health care. President Obama understands this and he spent his entire first term insuring that all Americans would have the opportunity to achieve their highest . He along with presidents like Bill Clinton, Franklin Roosevelt and Theodore Roosevelt knew that an America of despair and hopelessness is an America destine for failure . He understands like president Abraham Lincoln understood that a house divided against itself cannot stand . He has reached across the isle to the Republicans in Congress and has extended the oak leaf of compromise and understanding. He like Lincoln put at his side not just those who agree with him but those who do not. Barack Obama is the embodiment of what the preamble of our constitution says. He has promoted the general welfare, provided for the common defense and he has through his policies insured the blessing of liberty to us and future generations. I am voting for President Obama finally for my father who is in a nursing home paralyzed from a stroke. The once brilliant talkative man is now void of speech. My family pays $4000 per month to keep him in this nursing home. Without the efforts of President Obama and members of Congress who believe that quality health care is for all not just the wealthy. He has made sure that senior citizens like my father can live in dignity. My father served this country for over thirty years and asked for nothing. He like many elderly Americans cannot be forgotten . A vote for Mr. Obama is a vote for dignity, respect and the belief that American is for all not just the ones with all of it. Not to say anything against Governor Romney, I think he would make a fine president if the country were made up of only rich men, but it is not. America is a nation of many people some rich some poor some men some women, some people of color. In order to lead a nation like ours we need a leader who gets it and President Obama does. He has gone above and beyond and we need him to steer us through this sea of economic uncertainty. The journey that began four years ago has to continue to the destination of stability with Barack Obama at the helm. We owe it to our parents we owe it to our nation.

Trust is a Must

My parents are great people with a few exceptions tonight I am going to talk about one of them, their lack of trust.
Throughout my life, I have always been a person that could be trusted. I can be trusted for two reasons: A. I am a person of my word, If I tell you that I will do something, I will sometimes not right away for a variety of reasons but If I promise I will do it. The other is If you share any information or experience with me , I will keep it inside of me and never reveal it. I have two rules. If it was important enough for you to tell me it is important enough for me to remember it and never reveal it.
I have always been someone who trusts everyone initially and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I did not learn this from home . I do not understand why my parents are this way because to my knowledge they have never been cheated by anyone. They have probably cheated more than been cheated on. Like I said they are good people but their attitude that life is a game and everyone is trying to play you is wrong. Life is an experience to be lived from moment to moment. The people you encounter in this experience may do you harm or good but if you distrust them all you are doing yourself more harm than good.
Of all the lessons that my parents taught me that one was never learned and never will be learned. I have some good friends that I probably wouldn't have if I had followed their philosophy . The moral of this story is that as people we have to filter everything we encounter take in what we think is good for our growth and reject what is not.
Yours in Trust
Virtis

New Years Resolution

I am not one to believe in New Years resolutions and I usually do not make them but when I do it is for a very good reason.
I usually make resolutions for two reasons: 1. When I feel my life has gone so far out that I need to reel it back to the center. 2. I need to make drastic change to save the life that I have. The first time I made one of these drastic resolutions was in 1990 when I switched from case management to teaching. I made the resolution that I would change careers, so on New Year's Eve 1990 I resolved to start taking education courses at the University of Saint Thomas. In January of 1991, I enrolled in two classes at Saint Thomas leading me into teaching. The next time I made a drastic transition resolution was 8 years later in 1999. I resolved that I would do two things lose weight so I would not begin the next century overweight. I also resolved that I would meet someone that would change my mundane life and save my life.
On MLK day 2000 I began an exercise program to shed the 75 pounds that I was overweight and went about the task of meeting the life changer . I met that life changer but did not follow the advice given to me by them. If I had my life would be very different from what it is now.
So here I am on December 28, 2011 making another transition resolution. This one will have several parts : 1. Continue on the fitness and weight loss program started in April of 2011 . This will do two things a. change my appearance.b. rid me of type 2 diabetes forever. c. extend my life and its' quality for years to come.
2. a.Continue to develop my skills as a comedian and comedy writer. To improve my skills as a film maker. b. Complete the documentary on women who do open mic started in August of 2011.c.Submit this documentary to a few film festivals and gain recognition for the subjects of this effort .
3. Start a new relationship with a woman who will change my life and outlook forever. Someone with spirit, compassion, intelligence, passion who loves me for me and sees not only who I am but what I can become . Someone who thinks I am special , shares my space but also allows me to have it to myself. Someone who makes me laugh and cry someone who sends me who I send.
4. Start a new career in IT, technical writing and higher education teaching. This will give me the time to see my full potential and live the rest of my life on my toes looking towards the sun.
I know this sounds like a tall order but what are resolutions for but to fill a tall but unfulfilled order.

You Can't Always get what you Want or Can You

There is an old Rolling Stones song entitled " You Can't Always get What you Want" I used to believe that until just a short time ago when I realized one thing. What was that one thing you might ask ? The people who always get what they want do so because they refuse to accept less.
There was a point in my life when I thought that less was more and that if I got something that was all that mattered. That has been the case for work, relationships and "stuff" in general. It took me a number of years to realize this but now I understand. If I want a better job, I have to hold out for the best most ideal perfect fit job for me the so-called dream job .
The only reason it is a dream for the rest of us is because we cannot visual ourselves in a position of employment that we actually like and satisfies all of our needs, a job we feel good going to. We call these jobs "dream" jobs because we were taught by our families that work was just that a means to make money and create stability no matter how boring or unfulfilled they are.
So work became just that a lifelong drudge that was supposed to be a means to an end becomes the end. We work in unfulfilled jobs look forward to retirement do nothing when we get there and die never having lived.
I am making a transition in my work life and it is going be better than my present work because I will be under control. Not the incompetent shrew who is currently the principal of the school that I am assigned to . Not glad handing union representatives, not teachers jealous that I make more money than them just me .
I am also making a transition in relationships. I was in a unfulfilled relationship that was as boring and mundane as my job with a woman who was more into controlling the person that I was and not helping me realize my potential . She used passive-aggressive tactics to try and keep me under control but I took it thinking that it would get better that love would enter our marriage again and I should not leave to find someone who really loved me . AT that point I realized that it was important that I look for the person that I can have a loving relationship the person who sends me me , who I send. I am not looking just to date I am looking for the one. I now know what I want and I will not rest until I get it and I will not settle for second best. I hope the person that I am interested in understands this and realizes that I now want to live my life, I want to live it with someone who also wants to live not someone who is waiting to die.
You can always get what you want if you are not willing to settle for what you need . The only person who knows what you need is you . I need to live and I will do what is necessary to make that happen.

The Hidden Costs of Christmas

when I as growing up I can remember every Christmas as being a happy one full of joy and harmony. I can remember my Christmas wishes coming true under the tree on Christmas morning. I can remember eating a good meal and there was always lots of food and friends around the table.
With all of that happening, I never thought about the hidden costs of making that day happen. I think about my father, who at the time worked for the Post Office and worked 12 hour days to have the money to make the Christmas wishes of his four children come true.
I remember my mother, who at the time was a stay at home mom would work a job during the season just to make our Christmas dreams come true.
Credit cards were not widely used and most of what we received came through layaway . If you wanted something, you had better make sure that your parents knew about it before the end of September so that it could be put on layaway. When I think about this today it amazes me because we had 4 kids in our family and every kid got what they wanted for Christmas but at what cost.
My father worked 4 extra hours a day, hours that he could have used to rest and relax. The money from this extra work should have been used for investments to create a better retirement for himself and my mother or better schools for us kids. I would have to say that myself and my three sisters are all college graduates not from Harvard mind you but college graduates just the same . Maybe that money could have been used for first class instead of coach . If my father had worked less and relaxed more he might not have had a stroke and ended up spending his Autumn years in a nursing home.
Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful life and it is because of the sacrifices that my parents made for me. There Autumn years are good but they could be better. My life is good but it could be better.
This Christmas season, I am going to teach myself a lesson. Instead of buying the world for my daughter , I am going to invest some of the gift money and give some of it to those who have not been as fortunate as me. I remember my mother and father would put together Christmas baskets for their tenants and families to make Christmas brighter for them.
During this season, we should remember to get only what we need and we already have most that if we have love, family and friends. Take some of the money that you were going to spend on gifts and give it to the poor so that they can eat this season. Those of us who have should give to those who do not and learn a lesson from our parents who sacrificed everything to give us something.

What Humor is. What Humor is not

A series of circumstances have put me in the company of many stand-up comedians. Many are aspiring and do open mics some are headliners and are paid for their performances. All in all I have been very impressed by them all and wish them well. They have helped me through a difficult time in my life and have given me the opportunity to go back into comedy writing and performing an interest that I abruptly abandoned because of a bout with thyroid cancer. These comics all of them have given me the encouragement to start again in comedy and I will be forever grateful to them and their unconditional welcoming of me into their community. My mother was right as one door closes, the another one opens.
All of that aside, there is a split among comics as to what is funny and what is not. I am as much part of this discussion as anyone else so I will share my thoughts with you tonight. What comedy is: Comedy simply put is designed to make you laugh and the comedian will do what it takes to make that happen . From using the right combination of words to open up the flood gates of laughter to shock humor to shock your sensibilities to physical humor that gets us out of our seats.
I do not know any comics who is in disagreement with this. Where we disagree however is the delivery and the target. There are comics who think that comedy at someone else' expense is appropriate . There are other who believe that comedy should make everyone laugh and not pick on a particular segment of the population ( women, minorities etc.) just for a cheap laugh.
I recently attending a few shows where I saw both kinds of performers . One comic pick out two women in the audience and spent most of his set picking on them. The first couple of jokes were okay and people laughed but after a while both the ladies who were targets and the audience were sick of it . I was sick of it mostly because there was no point to it . Throughout the entire set he told two legitimate jokes the rest were attacks. In my opinion and the opinions of many comics that is not humor. Comics who tell jokes that put down minorities and are disrespectful to women make many in the audience leave with an uneasy feeling in the stomach.
What humor is: Call me old fashioned but I still believe in spreading the love and that comedy can be the ultimate love fest . A comedian can tell jokes about women and minorities that may offend but do not attack. Jokes that point out our differences and how they lead to the complex relationships we have as people. Instead of attacking women about their weight sexual activity or behaviors a comedian can talk about the complex relationships between men and women and how humorous they can be . To come on stage and call a women a "fat bitch" may get a few laughs from the misogynists in the audience but it will lose the women in the audience forever . To slam your minority audience may get you in the same predicament as Michael Richards (Kramer) who attacked two black hecklers and called them "niggers" . Not only did he get into hot water over the incident but received very few bookings afterwards. Attack humor is not only uncool at the moment it can alienate a segment of the population that you may never get back.
Comedy is not a club. One that you use to hit the audience over the head with or a white male club with few members. It is an open community open to many ideas and slowly but surely closing to hacks who think cheap shots are the key to quick laughs.

Birthday Revisited

I celebrated my birthday yesterday and it was as always awesome.
It was not awesome for many reasons but mostly for the gifts that I received and they were many. These gifts were not like the material gifts that we all get on our birthday they were spiritual, eternal and lifelong.
My first gift was that of renewed friendship, reuniting with a long lost friend that I thought I had lost forever . Now that we are in each others' lives it is priceless . This friendship is renewed and growing. Where it will go I do not know but I am happy to be back and connected again. Sometimes I lose track of my friends and never re-unite in this case, I am glad this did not happen because our friendship means the world to me.
My second gift is the gift of good health. A few months ago, my health was shot to hell. My weight was over 370 pounds, my blood pressure was through the roof along with my blood sugar and I would surely die. This birthday I have lost over 100 pounds and counting, my blood sugar is down to normal along with my blood pressure . I look better and can now wear cool clothes and look cool in them. My life is turning around and I am going to keep heading in the healthy direction. My doctor wanted me to get a gastric by-pass operation. I instead decided to by-pass the large amounts of sugar and carbs I was consuming . I now exercise 90 minutes per day and watch everything that I eat. This gift is priceless and I gave it to myself.
My third gift is a change in career and career location. I have decided to purse a writing, film making and IT career over traditional classroom teaching. I will always be a teacher because I will always love teaching and learning but I want to do it my way and not at the whim of others. I hope this decision will take me down the right road and help me in pursuit of happiness and stability. I have a talent that should be shared with the world I now have the opportunity to do just this.
Gift 3 my daughter who has had a number of problems in the past is now struggling toward becoming the person that she wants to be . I will stick by her to help her achieve this . Of all things that I have done in my life adopting her was the best thing in my life.My new career will help me in this.
Gift 4 all of the good friends and family that I have who truly support me and encourage me to achieve my goals. They are teacher friends, comedy friends, relatives and lifelong friends who believe in me . I would never have the opportunities that I do if it were not for them. I love them with all my heart and my love for them will never die only flourish .
There is one last gift that I would like to give myself, the gift of love . Not the kind for friends and family but the emotional, physical and spiritual love that only one man can have for one woman. I have seen this love many times and would like this gift myself. It is not something that happens overnight and hopefully it will not take forever but I will wait as long as it takes.
This has been a happy birthday and I hope my next birthday will be even happier . I would call myself a hopeless romantic but that would not be true. I am a hopeful romantic who knows what he wants and will get it with time and patience .