What Humor is. What Humor is not

A series of circumstances have put me in the company of many stand-up comedians. Many are aspiring and do open mics some are headliners and are paid for their performances. All in all I have been very impressed by them all and wish them well. They have helped me through a difficult time in my life and have given me the opportunity to go back into comedy writing and performing an interest that I abruptly abandoned because of a bout with thyroid cancer. These comics all of them have given me the encouragement to start again in comedy and I will be forever grateful to them and their unconditional welcoming of me into their community. My mother was right as one door closes, the another one opens.
All of that aside, there is a split among comics as to what is funny and what is not. I am as much part of this discussion as anyone else so I will share my thoughts with you tonight. What comedy is: Comedy simply put is designed to make you laugh and the comedian will do what it takes to make that happen . From using the right combination of words to open up the flood gates of laughter to shock humor to shock your sensibilities to physical humor that gets us out of our seats.
I do not know any comics who is in disagreement with this. Where we disagree however is the delivery and the target. There are comics who think that comedy at someone else' expense is appropriate . There are other who believe that comedy should make everyone laugh and not pick on a particular segment of the population ( women, minorities etc.) just for a cheap laugh.
I recently attending a few shows where I saw both kinds of performers . One comic pick out two women in the audience and spent most of his set picking on them. The first couple of jokes were okay and people laughed but after a while both the ladies who were targets and the audience were sick of it . I was sick of it mostly because there was no point to it . Throughout the entire set he told two legitimate jokes the rest were attacks. In my opinion and the opinions of many comics that is not humor. Comics who tell jokes that put down minorities and are disrespectful to women make many in the audience leave with an uneasy feeling in the stomach.
What humor is: Call me old fashioned but I still believe in spreading the love and that comedy can be the ultimate love fest . A comedian can tell jokes about women and minorities that may offend but do not attack. Jokes that point out our differences and how they lead to the complex relationships we have as people. Instead of attacking women about their weight sexual activity or behaviors a comedian can talk about the complex relationships between men and women and how humorous they can be . To come on stage and call a women a "fat bitch" may get a few laughs from the misogynists in the audience but it will lose the women in the audience forever . To slam your minority audience may get you in the same predicament as Michael Richards (Kramer) who attacked two black hecklers and called them "niggers" . Not only did he get into hot water over the incident but received very few bookings afterwards. Attack humor is not only uncool at the moment it can alienate a segment of the population that you may never get back.
Comedy is not a club. One that you use to hit the audience over the head with or a white male club with few members. It is an open community open to many ideas and slowly but surely closing to hacks who think cheap shots are the key to quick laughs.

Birthday Revisited

I celebrated my birthday yesterday and it was as always awesome.
It was not awesome for many reasons but mostly for the gifts that I received and they were many. These gifts were not like the material gifts that we all get on our birthday they were spiritual, eternal and lifelong.
My first gift was that of renewed friendship, reuniting with a long lost friend that I thought I had lost forever . Now that we are in each others' lives it is priceless . This friendship is renewed and growing. Where it will go I do not know but I am happy to be back and connected again. Sometimes I lose track of my friends and never re-unite in this case, I am glad this did not happen because our friendship means the world to me.
My second gift is the gift of good health. A few months ago, my health was shot to hell. My weight was over 370 pounds, my blood pressure was through the roof along with my blood sugar and I would surely die. This birthday I have lost over 100 pounds and counting, my blood sugar is down to normal along with my blood pressure . I look better and can now wear cool clothes and look cool in them. My life is turning around and I am going to keep heading in the healthy direction. My doctor wanted me to get a gastric by-pass operation. I instead decided to by-pass the large amounts of sugar and carbs I was consuming . I now exercise 90 minutes per day and watch everything that I eat. This gift is priceless and I gave it to myself.
My third gift is a change in career and career location. I have decided to purse a writing, film making and IT career over traditional classroom teaching. I will always be a teacher because I will always love teaching and learning but I want to do it my way and not at the whim of others. I hope this decision will take me down the right road and help me in pursuit of happiness and stability. I have a talent that should be shared with the world I now have the opportunity to do just this.
Gift 3 my daughter who has had a number of problems in the past is now struggling toward becoming the person that she wants to be . I will stick by her to help her achieve this . Of all things that I have done in my life adopting her was the best thing in my life.My new career will help me in this.
Gift 4 all of the good friends and family that I have who truly support me and encourage me to achieve my goals. They are teacher friends, comedy friends, relatives and lifelong friends who believe in me . I would never have the opportunities that I do if it were not for them. I love them with all my heart and my love for them will never die only flourish .
There is one last gift that I would like to give myself, the gift of love . Not the kind for friends and family but the emotional, physical and spiritual love that only one man can have for one woman. I have seen this love many times and would like this gift myself. It is not something that happens overnight and hopefully it will not take forever but I will wait as long as it takes.
This has been a happy birthday and I hope my next birthday will be even happier . I would call myself a hopeless romantic but that would not be true. I am a hopeful romantic who knows what he wants and will get it with time and patience .

Goodwill Hunting

Over the last three months I have gone to the depths that I have on few occasions gone. Nothing that is morally against my values but unusual in my patterns. As most of my friends know, I like to shop to find value where there is none and to live for the sale and the discount. In other words, the outlet and the internet are my friends and Sam's Club and Costco are distant relatives.
Over the last three months, I have found a step child. The Goodwill . It is not that I felt this thrift store of all thrift stores is beneath me but I have never had the occasion to venture into this establishment .
Recent event ( separation, divorce prep and tremendous weight loss) have reduced my disposable income and I have resorted to shopping at the Goodwill . It has become my lifesaver. First it was just to get a few things for my new apartment that I could not afford to get at Wal-Mart things like pillow cases, sheets, floor lamps end tables etc.
I also bought some needed kitchen items (crock pots, pans and a rice steamer ) . Before I knew it my entire apartment was outfitted with all the comforts of home and the ability to prepare any meal necessary.
After outfitting my apartment I realized that my increased workouts and weight loss left me with few clothes that did not fit properly. I tried going to Wal-Mart for a few things and realized that in my state, Wal-Mart prices were too much in my state. A pair of trousers are between $10 and $20 that could be used fro cable, electric and rent . I discovered that trousers of all kinds and quality could be had at the Goodwill for a mere $4.99-$5.99 and shirts for around the same. I have more than enough shoes so they were not an issue. I also have plenty of suits and dress shirts but everyday wear was the problem.
Things like jeans, cargo pants and polo shirts. Since I have lost weight, I now have a Goodwill body Size 40 to 42 waist, XL-XXL instead of waist 50 and 3XL . So now instead of going to the factitious Phat Boyz the consignment short for the portly man I can go to Goodwill the consignment shop for the average sized man.
I have also found that what you find on your Goodwill hunting depends on where the hunting ground is. I have found the best place for designer clothes are the Goodwill's that are located in tony suburbs like Edina and Woodbury . Furniture is sometimes better as well.
I have found however, the holy grail of Goodwills is the one on University avenue and Fairview in Saint Paul , Minnesota .
In this time of economic uncertainty it is great to have this economic oasis known as the Goodwill.

Bernie Madoff in Color

Today I saw a movie titled " Tower Heist " staring Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy. Great acting by all of the parties involved including veterans Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick and newcomer Gabourey Sidibe of Precious fame.
The plot of the movie involves the employees of an exclusive New York high rise who become alarmed when one of the residents played by Alan Alda is arrested by the FBI and charged with running a Madoff like Ponzi Scheme and swindling the employees out of their pensions.
Stiller, the building's manager, decides to get even with Alda after the doorman near retirement tries to kill himself after he is wiped out in the swindle .
Stiller enlists the aid of a boyhood acquaintance and professional thief played to the hilt by Eddie Murphy . Stiller, Murphy and a team of disgruntled ex-employees and an ex-tenet played by Matthew Broderick plan to rob Alda's apartment safe to steal a rumored $40 million.
To make a long story short. The movie has a happy ending but that is not the point of this blog . You might ask what is the point of this blog.
The point of this blog is to look at the movie and recent events in the news particularly Bernie Madoff's family in all of the major news markets from 60 minutes last Sunday, the Today Show on Monday and everything else for the rest of the week including this movie.
The difference however, if that the movie had another take on the Madoff story. Throughout his trial and subsequent conviction, many of us almost felt sorry for the guy and his family.
Tower Heist show us the real Madoff albeit Alan Alda and the Madoff family for that matter. From the 60 minutes interview to other opportunities during the week Ruth Madoff made herself seem like a Mafia wife who sits at home while her Tony Soprano like husband reeks havoc on the world and she sits back and wonders where all of the goodies came from. Bernie must be a great provider and she claims she had no clue of where it all came from.
At this point I usually use a word that starts with a b and ends with a t but since all of you probably know the word, I will leave it out. His son Andrew was even worse, acting as if Madoff's thievery was all new to him. It even sounds worse coming Steven because he worked on Wall Street with his father up until the scandal broke. So unlike Ruth Madoff, he has no excuses he knew the business and chose to turn a blind eye to it all.
Tower Heist was like a breath of fresh air in a otherwise sea of BS that painted the Madoffs as victims themselves. Tower Heist shows a fictitious Bernie Madoff as a Greedy, Selfish, Spoiled Douche Bag with a warped sense of justice kinda like the real Bernie Madoff and his Greedy, Selfish, Spoiled Douche Bag family.

The ABC's of Dressing Me

I was watching a movie today called The Big Year Staring Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson. The movie was about Birding and the lengths 3 men go to in order to become the top birder of the year. It was a delightful movie and I greatly enjoyed it.
That aside, one of the things that impressed me about this movies was how Steve Martin dressed. I am always impressed with the way Mr. Martin puts together his clothes and how they indeed make him the man and the actor he is.
Now me that is a totally different story altogether . I am the product of two parents who believed in the adage: "Clothes make the man." Throughout my life I was always told by them to dress to impress. My father used to say that you can always tell what kind of man you are dealing with by the way he dresses . If he does not iron his shirt or pants, take care pf those little details, how do you expect him to handle bigger details. Then he would give examples of impeccable dressers who have become men of success like Bryant Gumbel and Bill Cosby. He equated their success with their dress.
When I would bring up examples of men who did not dress to impress but were still successful like Steve Jobs or Woody Allen, he would say but those guys are white and do not have to work as hard to impress.
So as an adult male, I find myself making compromises between what my parents taught me and what I have to do as a matter of fashion survival and comfort. Here are the ABC's of Dressing me.
A. I usually wear buttoned-down shirts with two pockets. Being a techie I need two pockets one for my smart phone and other for my Ipod and a moleskine notebook. The shirt is always oxford blue.
B. I usually wear khakis sometimes cuffed sometimes not cuffed. This has a practical purpose as well. Khakis are comfortable on one had and can be dressed up on the other if needed. All it takes is a tie and a blazer to turn a causal uniform into business dress.
B. Shoes and outer wear. In the spring, summer and fall, I wear dark athletic shoes for two reasons: because they are comfortable, I workout and walk on a daily basis, and because they can double for dress up if needed. I usually carry two types of outerwear in my car or on a trip . One is a Scott Evest tech vest that can be used to carry a cell phone, camera, ipod and a variety of other devices needed on a daily basis. The other is a blazer weather navy or light brown silk.
Theses are the ABC's of dressing me despite all else comfort is the key.

SJobsRip@anotherworld.com

I decided to take a break from Facebook to make a serious note about the death of Apple founder Steve Jobs. Mr. Jobs is one of those people who even though he is in the limelight his personal life was on the front page a great deal less than his business life and his company's products.
I think that is the way it should be for all public figures. For the life of me and I am a pretty smart guy, I could not tell you the name of his wife or the names of any of his four children. I think that is the way it should be and it was part of the style of a man who gave us so much. I do not know this for a fact, but it seems that he was the kind of person who said we are or Apple is not Steve Jobs is. He kept his personal life personal in the reserved classy way he did everything.
When President Obama speaks of the American Dream, he is speaking of Steve Jobs. He was adopted and from a plain ordinary working-class family. He was not from privilege nor did he ever carry the air of it. He made it in this big game called America solely on his talent and ambition. He had no pedigree ( Ivy League, Influential Family etc.) no springboard accomplishment to propel him to greatness. Steve made it because of two things: his willingness to hone and expand his talents and his willingness to collaborate with others first Steve Wozniak then countless numbers of geniuses who he was willing to give free reign ( with some direction from Jobs himself) to create the greatest communication and technology company known to the world.
Steven Jobs was our Thomas Jefferson, a pioneer who never ceased his search for the promised land. He was a man of power who did not always use it to alter our nation, the world or the people in it. He had a love for education but never used his money, as in the case of Bill Gates to start a special education foundation to show educators how to educate and make them dance to his music. Apple does offer discounts to teachers and students to make it easier for them to purchase apple products. As a teacher, I appreciate this .
Mr. Jobs chose to let his products talk for him . Instead of telling the world what to do and how to do it, Steve Jobs and apple provides the people of the world with the tools to talk to one another to create words, pictures and bring us together.
As I write this blog on my 2007 Macbook Pro I recall what Mr. Jobs said to the Standford University Class of 2005 "Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life." That made me think. This is a transition year for me . For the last 23 years, I have been living someone else's life now I am starting to live my own. I am taking Steve Jobs words to heart and when I finally leave this earth it will be as myself, living my life, reaching my goals and I will as Steve Jobs , have no regrets.

Cook or Chef . You Deceide

I watch the Food Network often and the one thing that I have noticed about the network is that there are two types that have shows on the network cooks and chefs.
What is the difference you might ask. That is what this blog is going to accomplish tonight. The difference between a cook and a chef.
Simply put, a cook follows recipes and feeds the hungry. A chef is an artiste who produces food creations on the fringes and convinces that only the really cool find these creations tasty and satisfying . The problem with both of these definitions is that they are based on economic and class issues.
Rich people have their food prepared by chefs who make ice cream with liquid oxygen or nitrogen and create petite meals that are more visual than they are to fulfill someone who has worked a long shift and needs something to eat . They are more for people who sit on their asses all day and are more concerned with staying pale and thin that actually eating.
A cook on the other hand prepares food for those who need to replace the calories lost from working on a construction site, driving a truck or teaching a classroom full of screaming teenagers. Cooks work at diners, drive inns and dives. Chefs work at off the beaten path places with names only we graduate educated people can pronounce. They work at the places my friends usually ( old friends ) pick where the wine bill alone comes to $200 and I do not even drink. The food is so minimal that I have to eat when I get home because I am still hungry.
Now I am no longer an over-eater in fact to date I have lost 90 lbs but when I eat, I want to be fed. Meat no potatoes, vegetables, no bread and a good salad with ice water. My meals should and are only prepared by cooks. I have no time for chefs. Rachel Ray, Guy Fieiri, Sunny Anderson and Paula Dean are Cooks. Bobby Flay, Gadia Delorentas and Mario Bataly are chefs. They are all capable of cooking substantial meals but you would pay a lot more for the ones prepared by chefs.
I travel a great deal, sometimes I travel with friends and although I love all of my friends I prefer to travel with the friends of mine who love cooks over chefs because then I know that I will eat well for cheap BLD ( breakfast lunch and dinner) . I am going to Chicago at the end of September and I have made it clear chef lovers need not come. Simple Chicago fare is on the menu not unpronounceable unfilling fodder fit for failing fiscal fools.
My Aunt Rosie now she was a cook. For years, she prepared filling meals for the starving lunch crowd in Jackson Mississippi's Washington Addition . My Aunt cooked everything from hot dogs to short ribs with the precision of the finest iron chef but any man or woman who walked out of Mother's Inn on any given week day left with change in their pocket, food in their bellies and a smile on their face.
Bon Appetite